How to Choose a Good Wife (According to Odysseus)
Penelope's Chief Virtue is NOT Loyalty
If I took away one lesson from the Odyssey, it’s you gotta choose your wife wisely. Here’s the range of outcomes:
She starts a decade-long war which kills most of your friends (Helen)
She cheats on you while you are fighting for your nation and murders you at your homecoming (Clytemnestra)
She holds down the fort, raises your son, and ennobles your legacy (Penelope)
The outcome of the Greek heroes are strongly determined by the woman they chose to marry.
While Penelope clearly is the best wife, most people misunderstand what makes her so great. Why does Odysseus turn down goddesses, a princess who is much younger from a wealthier kingdom, and the very offer of immortality to go back to Penelope?
It’s not just because of her loyalty, but what Homer calls “ὁμοφροσύνη” -- like-mindedness. What makes her the ideal wife is that she matches Odysseus in his defining quality, his cunning. Odysseus on what makes a good marriage:
… Like-mindedness is a goodly gift. For nothing is greater or better than this, than man and wife dwell in a home in one mind, a great grief to their foes and a joy to their friends.